Thank you Kandice Peters for the topic suggestion!
A Personal Story
The best way for me to talk about this is to refer to my own experience.
When I was 19 years old, I lost my best friend Tommy in a car accident. He was very close to me. We loved the same music and we always hung out together.
When he died, it stunted my world.
For the first year after Tommy’s death, I didn’t get much contact from him. If anything, it would be a fleeting dream here and there. Then I started having dreams where I was chasing him and he would ignore me. He would be walking by, flying by, or driving by and I would want to talk to him, but he would just keep going. I would get so upset, sometimes to tears because I wanted to connect with him so much.
About 4 years down the line, I began to tell myself before bed that if I had a dream I would try to communicate in the dream. One night shortly after, I had a dream in which I saw Tommy laying on the deck of his parents’ home, peering into the living room.
I thought to myself, I’ve had enough. I walked up to him and said, “I know that you are dead.”
He replied, “SSShhhh, be quiet! I don’t want anyone else to know.”
“What do you mean you don’t want anyone else to know? Everyone knows you are dead,” I said.
Tommy replied, “I’m OK, I just want to see how everyone is. How are you?” he asked me.
“I’m fine,” I replied.
“Good, that is what’s important,” he said.
It was short, but this was the beginning of the dreams where we began to communicate. As time went on I had other dreams that were more fun. We would be laughing and he would be teasing me like he always would.
Then again, after I met my better half, I had some more dreams where I was able to introduce Amy to Tommy. It was very nice. I was at a big table at a restaurant and Tommy worked there.
He walked up said, “Hi, I’m Tommy, Rick’s dead friend.
Then we all started laughing. The communications included them shaking hands and they hugged like it was a pleasure to meet.
This is when it really began to change for me. I realized that I had to have a better attitude about the dreaming process.
Before this, I was always fearful of dreams and thus transported that fear into my dream state. My fear of death and loss was transferred and impeded my ability to communicate with those I cared for.
When I realized that Tommy was OK and that I could talk to him at any point, I was able to do that in the dream.
So I would say the biggest rule of thumb is to be in a happier state. I say that more and more these days because it is hard to manifest anything when you are upset or in a negative vibrational state. When we are hurting and we are angry that someone has passed it is hard for them to communicate. It is like trying to swim through pudding.
When we are in a happier state you can get messages much more clearly. Now you may be thinking, “How can I be happier in my dreams?” It begins with trying to be happy during your day. Also, talk to them, acknowledge them, and let them know that you are aware and happy that they are on the other side.
If you don’t have a belief of the other side or if you think it isn’t possible for them to communicate, you make it more difficult.
I am so blessed to have communication with my beloved friend Tommy. They do care about us and want to communicate with us, but generally they will do that in the ways they were accustomed to with you while on Earth. It usually isn’t a big sit down discussion about heaven and all of the ‘great knowledge of the universe.’ They may be short and sweet, just enough time to share a message with you.
Can’t Connect after an Unexpected or Tragic Death?
I think when we don’t have dreams with the ones we love, it can sometimes be because we are in a state of fear, and we are scared or angry because we can’t communicate with them because they have been taken from us. That slows the process down.
Acknowledging their death and being in a happy state makes it much easier.
Now I know when a loved one has been murdered or committed suicide it can be much more difficult to be in a happy state because we are more affected by it. It is much harder to be like, ‘Hey, they were taken suddenly and unfairly and it is going to be OK.’
We have to try and acknowledge that they are no longer on the earthly plain, and be OK that they have crossed over. If you realize that they’re not gone and that they are there with you, you can be happier for them. This can make it easier to reach a place of acceptance of what is.
Once you have reached this state, it may be easier to visit with your loved ones.
The grief process is necessary, but the more quickly we can get to that place, the sooner we can make contact with them, talk to them, and be with them.
I wish you happy and wonderful visits with your loved ones in your dreams.
Remember, be patient and loving.
All my best,